New Song: Singing To Myself

J Molin
Singing To Myself
J Molin Singing To Myself
{{heart_svg}}LikeLiked
77
27

Have you ever sung Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to a kiddo at bedtime?

Almost every night for the last 10 years Maile and I have taken turns singing to Anais at bedtime. It’s such a sweet ritual that I can hardly believe she still allows it much less requests it. But it still works its magic, on her and on us.

Sleeping Princess by g’ma Lil.
A lot of lovies
A lot of lovies

Sitting at her bedside singing softly, star-shaped night-light projected around, stuffed animals looking back in cozy bunches, we’re wrapped in lullaby land’s peaceful completeness and the noisy world is silent for a moment until we tiptoe out.

Maile does a much better job than I do with her gorgeous renditions of Sweet Baby James or Teddybear Picknick. I, on the other hand, am always trying to remember some obscure tune and forgetting the lyrics, humming some improvised ending.

Cloud snuggie
Cloud snuggie

One night a few months ago I was making up this song as Anais fell asleep. It was such a perfect, full moment that I couldn’t stand the thought of letting it slip away, forgotten.

But of course, she is moving on as I am trying to hold on, and this story ends the way it does every evening, Anais asleep, me, singing to myself.

Dad and daughter at Gorman Falls
Dad and daughter at Gorman Falls

Singing To Myself

I’m sitting here singing to you as you fall asleep
Imaginin’ what you’ll be like when you’re old like me
Just maybe you will have a kid you’re singing to
Just maybe you will be thinking all of these things too

How can I hold on, how can I hold as you fall asleep?
How can I hold on, how can I hold to a moment so sweet?
And I’m left here singing to myself

And as you sing I’ll be punchin up my seventies
What hope have I for still holding to this memory?
How can I tie a ribbon round a breath of air?
How can I save this moment like a lock of hair?

How can I hold on, how can I hold on as I watch you sleeping?
How can I hold on, how can I hold on to something so fleeting?
And I’m left here singing to myself

Time, damn time, keeps rollin on
But I wouldn’t want to stay anywhere too long
Cause I know you got to go and good things go wrong
When you don’t let them grow beyond the garden wall

So I get up, and tiptoe out into the hall
And take it in, one more time before my curtain call
Try to hold on and it’s already gone
Grab my guitar and try remembering my song

How can I hold on, how can I hold on and make it last longer?
I cannot hold on, so I write this song, make a memory stronger
I cannot hold on, I cannot hold on, I’m falling headlong for her
And I’m left here singing to myself

12 Replies to “New Song: Singing To Myself”

  1. Hi Jason,
    Thank you for sharing and trusting what seems to me like a very private part of your feelings about you and your family. I feel honored to be part of something that can open up ones spiritual senses and be carried away by that.
    Keep up the good work!

  2. Thank you, Rick. It is such a private, sacred thing. I had to get Anais’s approval at every stage of this in order to feel ok sharing it. She approved. And totally laughed at the part about me getting songs wrong.

  3. Thanks for sharing this song, I think this is how so many people feel about the most precious things in their life!!

  4. So true. It’s all just slipping through our fingers and the wonderful stuff seems to pass especially fast… so we sing. :- j

  5. Well, I love all those things about you too, Sara… always so nice to hear, and right back atcha, my creative elf angel!

  6. Gotta grab those melody Magic’s as they float by and put words to em. You always find the right words. J

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *