Here’s a jazzy little lovesong to Maile, my love. It struck me again recently how well she cares for Anais and me even when she’s busy, stressed and tired. She puts us first. She SHOWS us she loves us. I hope to do the same.
I’ll Show You
Hand in hand we trip down Sunday’s sidewalk
Making plans, trying on dreams together
Tell me when I hit the jackpot and
You find the lens that brings it all in focus
Day by day we make a life together
Finding ways to stir the peanut butter
Play the play and do our role reversals
Giving way, it’s just a dress rehearsal
You don’t know how much you mean
to me my love, my one and only
I need you to see how cool you’ve been
my love… I’ll show you
Eventually, we figure out a dinner
We find a seat and it’s our favorite server
Romantically binging on guilty pleasures
You tell me, Let’s see the world together
You don’t know how much you mean
to me my love, my one and only
I need you to see how cool you’ve been
my love… I’ll show you
Hand in hand we trip down Sunday’s sidewalk
Making plans, trying on dreams together
Tell me when I hit the jackpot and
You find the lens that brings it all in focus
Given this title, I reflected on the pause that I am learning can make such a big difference. This is the pause between feeling a strong emotion and acting on that feeling. Perhaps you’ve heard this advice: When you get angry, count to ten and just breath, wait for the passion to pass before doing something you’ll regret.
The same advice can be applied to a flash of fear or anxiety. As you feel the intense discomfort, notice how it peaks and begins to subside. Once you’ve noticed it you can begin to isolate the feeling from immediate action and separate the physical experience from a hot take on what it means.
This song is about that wisdom, gained from years of therapy. It’s about the triggers and traumas intense emotions bring back. It’s about applying a bit of the mindfulness I hope I am learning as I try to become a mature adult, a better husband, dad, friend and colleague.
The next level alluded to here, is to learn to separate my physical and emotional responses from what is happening in the world around me. It’s about recognizing how short-lived the chemical spike of emotions is. When the emotion is at its most intense, the chemicals have already begun to subside. Let them subside before making a series of assumptions based on your past. Give them a moment before you make the situation worse by letting past traumas rebound and create new ones.
Just A Moment
Did he just say what I think he said?
A split second and I’m seeing red
All of a sudden it seems that I might have to fight
Well someone’s gotta say something now
This is something that I can’t allow
Now I’m starting to sweat and my chest feels tight
Just a moment… just a moment… just a moment like a meteorite
Give it a moment to burn up across the sky
Just a moment while I try not to light the dynamite
Oh my god, what did I just say?
Why did I take the bait and act that way?
I’ve been down this road and it doesn’t end well
I’m flashing back to my parent’s fights
I’m sayin anything to make it alright
If I’m gonna break the chain I’ve gotta break that spell
Just a moment… just a moment… just a moment to catastrophize
Give it a moment to burn up across the sky
Just a moment while I try not to light the dynamite
Just a moment… of atonement
Sitting with a feeling without trying to understand why
Just a moment… of postponement
To feel it in my body without some sad story applied
To see it in my mind without trying to hypothesize
Waiting for the storm to pass to take a walk and spend time outside
Every night about half-past ten
Someone lets a brood of devils in
They pour another drink and bring up things that I said/did
Sure they lie still they get to me
Playing on my insecurities
Now I need something strong just to steady my head
Just a moment… just a moment… just a moment while I try not to cry
Gimme a moment when I just want to get high
Just a moment so I can hide the dynamite
Just a moment to let it subside and feel alive
Just a moment to let it out and let in the light
After 14 months of pandemic isolation, it was my great pleasure to play PaigeFest again (for the third time) last weekend. Thanks to Mike Baskin for making it better than ever and having me back, not to mention posting this video of me doing a new song of mine called Begin Again.
Danny P joined Darrel, Gray and me (aka Icy Cinema) on Gray’s front porch for an ambient Easter evening. Gray set the recorder in the yard and captured all 2+ hrs. of ambiance, including background chat and Chachi barking. Enjoy the mix.
Here’s my space-cowboy diddy about traveling the vast plains within the small spaces we’ve been confined to and the ambiguous future we’re waiting for.
Up In The Air
I done my time in cell upstairs
I didn’t do the crime but nobody cares
We all made the mistake of lookin the other way
We shoulda learned by now but we’re still unprepared
And now it’s all up in the air
I’ve been ramblin round way out in west
Travelin day and night across my little nest
I’m countin the numbers under house arrest
Someday I’m gonna fly and kiss this mask goodbye
For now it’s all up in the air
I got a job herdin cattle all day
Ropin docs in my inbox across the superhighway
Ya gotta route those doggies before they go astray
At night I play solitaire before I send my evening prayers
Under my breath up in the air
