Ideas:
“Any way you slice it, it doesn’t look good.”
“I’m going to have to refer you to three different specialists.”
“Am I being punk’d?”
“That’s one of the side effects. You fall to peices.”
“Side effects include a sense of detatchment.”
“You can put yourself together and put your clothes back on now.”
“Never raise your hand when they ask for volunteers from the audience, and never ever trust someone who calls themselves ‘an illusionist.”
“As your doctor I have to tell you, I don’t think sword-dancing is for you.”
“Damn, Ira, when you throw your back out, you really throw your back out.”
“I know a great physical therapist. With a little stick-to-it-aveness I don’t see any reason why you can’t be back up on your feet in a few months.”
“You have got one stubborn case of seperation anxiety.”